Thursday, April 27, 2006

The Wait

So Monday I find out if I've got an Audrey or an Oliver in my belly. I feel like I'm waiting for Christmas and Summer Vacation all wrapped in one loooooooooong clock & calendar watch. I want to know NOW! I want to buy a crib set NOW! And yet, I wait.

To distract myself, I put together a Best Of list for my friend David of stuff that usually ends up in my basket when I go to Trader Joe's. New York FINALLY got a Trader Joe's and it's in Union Square. I can't imagine the non-stop stocking they must do and I also can't imagine what the prices must be like - SURELY Chuck's isn't two bucks! So here's my list - please feel free to comment with anything I may have missed or should try:

Kay's Best of Trader Joes (all TJ's brands unless otherwise specified) – things I buy pretty regularly:
Cilantro jalepeno hummus (great with their pita chips)
Lite shredded 3 cheese blend
Charles Shaw Wines ("Two-Buck Chucks" - but they're really more like $4)
Cheese & Green Chile tamales (frozen section - not the refrig section)
Beef tamales (frozen)
Any of the frozen potstickers (gyoza) are good
Extra Virgin Olive Oil
Sesame Oil
Balsamic Vinegar
Vanilla extract (from Madagascar or someplace)
Roasted edamame (in the nuts section - I guess they're soy nuts but they're bigger)
Brown basmati rice
Ginger granola (if you like ginger - there's big hunks of crystalized ginger, great on yogurt & mango)
Pizza dough (in refrig section - I've tried all flavors and all are good - a cashier said that she knows someone that uses the plain dough for cinnamon rolls)
Truffettes (AMAZING and cheap truffles)
$1 greeting cards (there's usually a wall of them)

I just bought two of their salsas, the basic one and the double-smoked one and will be trying them with fajitas tonight along with their homemade flour tortillas and organic white corn tortilla chips. I’ll report back.

Speaking of TJ's:

And speaking of David, we had a long drawn out conversation about babies and birthing and breastfeeding and nipples. It started with the 4/24 pic of PostHipChick* and ended like this:

K: Scroll to the 4/24 pic - I'm now nervous.

D: GOOD HEAVENS! I don't recall my sister ever being that big, and the woman in the photo appears to be slight, no? The one thing I could GOOD HEAVENS over my sister about is her nipples, at least with the third kid, they looked like big Coke bottles.

K: Oh I know, I just cringe about that! Mine are not very perky-tiny to begin with and even with the current growth, my baby is going to have to have a mouth like Mick Jagger or something.

D: I just So Giggled. Relax. My sister reported it really is one of the most amazing things she ever did, and Heck, she's been to the Grand Canyon!

K: I just SO full-tilt laughed. I love you so much. My friend Ashley "over-produced" and was in a dressing room once just about to try on a bathing suit, she heard a baby cry, her milk dropped, and she sprayed the mirror. I don't want that.

D: CHORTLE! I was throwing a BBQ at my sister's and Lactating Neighbor Linda saw a mother nursing and exploded like someone threw a water ballon at her. Do you want THAT?

K: I want beautiful boobies with perfectly portioned servings of hunger-quenching, soul-saving, karma-building, tartar-controlling milk gushing out for my baby and only my baby.

D: How 'bout "tastes closer to fresh squeezed?"

*I don't know PostHipChick but Lordy, her baby is GORGEOUS!!!

Thursday, April 20, 2006

Little Miss Sunshine

Tommy and I saw the preview to Little Miss Sunshine when we saw the GREAT movie Thank You For Smoking (starring new mother Katie Holmes – speaking of which, is there some sort of surreal Christian-Scientological Karmic Duel going on that Brooke and Katie both had girl babies on the same day? That makes me laugh…a slow and painful laugh - but I digress....). I cannot wait until LMS comes out!!!! In the trailer, Olive's (precious little girl with glasses) reaction to the answering machine message makes me weep happy, happy tears. (What can I say? I have come to embrace The Hormones).

It is Olive's giddy reaction that I felt when I received my PRESCRIPTION for MASSAGES today. I didn't know such a thing of bliss existed!!! I hate that I didn't look into it before the one I got on Monday that wasn't covered, but now, NOW I shall take full advantage! I especially like the part on my referral sheet where it says:

Frequency and Duration
PT to determine after evaluation:
1 2 3 4 5 times per week for 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 weeks.

My mouth is watering.

Monday, April 17, 2006

Me Rub You Long Time

My friend Rick referred me to a masseuse who has experience with sports medicine. Since I have yet to sleep more than 4 hours at a time without my back catching on fire, I made an appointment to see her - they were able to fit me in around lunch time today and let me just say, she rocked. She was chatty, a trait I normally abhore in masseuses (masseusi?) but she was so knowledgeable and was able to get right to the problem that I couldn't care less. Since I can't lay down on my front, back or either side, she was very accomodating with her massage chair - I actually kind of prefer the chair because it keeps what usually aches me at the surface. While she rubbed and pulled, she explained that my muscle was still seriously bruised and I will feel that 3" circle for at least another week. This normally would have displeased me but she was able to rub out all the spindly little offshoots so now, at least for this moment, I'm completely tolerant of the little knot. She was so great at explaining what muscles were affected and what other muscles were just trying to protect the hurt ones that I totally understood what was going on - I was like my own science doll. Now let's see how long I sleep tonight.

The Knot usually wakes me anywhere from 1am to 4am. Not much is on TV during that time. So I tend to watch a lot of Discovery Health while icing The Knot, specifically all the birthing shows. Granted, I cried at card tricks before I got knocked up, and supposedly now that I'm entering the 2nd Trimester my emotions will even out, but until then I get positively weepy over all those deliveries. Even though the babies are covered in mucus and whatnot, they're still the most beautiful little creatures! It's like their wings were just ripped off and they were sent down to Earth! I hope Tommy and I do well in that situation. I want us both to be positive and upbeat but I know things can take a turn when one is trying to pass a 10lb "angel" through one's Lulu.

Another tearjerker that probably only brings tears to my eyes, is the trailer for Little Miss Sunshine. When Olive starts hopping up and down then screaming, I think it's truly one of the most precious things caught on film.

Tommy and I started watching Raising Arizona (The Greatest Movie Ever Made...unless you count True Romance and that's quite a battle for #1) the other night (he fell asleep so I stopped watching for fear he'd wake up and I'd be totally and completely weepy). When Holly Hunter launches into the, "Ah luv him so mu-u-u-u-u-uch!" I feel on the exact same plane (plain?) - but again, I felt that way long before my egg met its match.

Friday, April 14, 2006

Fertile Myrtle got a girdle

Okay, so falling down when you're pregnant and almost forty SUCKS. I still hurt like it just happened and I've got a doozey of a bruise on my back that tells me it ain't letting up. So this morning (note: mornings SUCK because I have gotten sporadic, pained sleep that leaves me exhausted and hurt and weepy) Tommy said I should call the emergency room and see if they can recommend something then it dawned on me that I should call my mom (The Nurse) and see what she says but then I told Tommy that I didn't want to call her just yet because I knew I would cry when I started talking to her but then I couldn't decide if I should wait to call her after my shower- hoping my mood would lighten but what if it just made me weepy the whole day?!? Now mind you, I started full-tilt crying a tenth of the way into that sentence to him (it's sad that he's used to it) which then made me laugh about my blathering which then alleviated the crying and I was able to call her like the mature adult I pretend to be.

Mom said maybe I should get (note: Mom doesn't look her age AT ALL but at times she shows her age verbally...wait for it....) a girdle (shiver!) and that she wore one when she was pregnant with me when she worked as like the head RN in the emergency room (I think that much drive skips a generation). Earlier this week I thought those velcro waist cinchers you see UPS guys wear would feel really good with my current situation (they feel gooooood if you've never worn one) so I thought it was worth looking into getting a prenatal version.

So off I went to the nearby Home Health Store. Do you know how much those things cost? Because I sure didn't when I went in there. They start, START at $55. Fortunately the woman working in the former pharmacy (literally - they left the aqua and gold sign from the 40's on the back wall) was really helpful and she suggested I call my doctor and get a prescription for one. (What's weird is earlier that day a girl from work got a prescription for one of those ergonomic kneel-y chairs - who would have thought you could get a prescription for furniture and velcro!)
So I did and I did!

A couple of hours later I went back to the store to pick up my support band (for lack of a prettier term). Said nice woman working there said, "Come back here and I'll show you how to put it on." (Begga pardon?) I figured it was part of the prescription so I went to the back and got to really study the ancient aqua and gold pharmacy sign complete with the snake-y cross symbol thing. Now take a moment to truly experience the Loving Comfort Maternity Support (from the makers of the Breast Binder!). Sexy, no?

This kicky little number takes a bit of time to put on...didn't help that I was wearing jeans and a bulky sweater but Nice Salesperson didn't seem to mind. She hugged me from the back as she applied the Abdominal Support Pad (or ASP as we like to call it in the ortho biz); while back there, she attached the belt (no sassy initials for that one); then looped the upper strap over the whole shebang. Did I mention I was wearing a BLACK bulky sweater? Yeah, that's a good look.

But when you have scorching muscle spasms like I have been having, it doesn't matter what you look like as long as it feels good and the Loving Comfort Maternity Support is aptly named.

FORTUNATELY, Tommy has duty tonight so I'm safe from any ravaging that will no doubt ensue after he sees me in this little aphrodisiac.

Well, time for me to go strap myself in and hopefully get a decent night's sleep.

Nigh, nigh!

Monday, April 10, 2006

Fall down go boom

I took a really bad fall yesterday. I must have been such a site when Tommy found me! I was cleaning out the pond in the "Zen Garden" (we had a racoon "redo" the place Friday night) and I was carrying a bucket full of dirty water, random sludge and leaves, and strawberry tops from a 2 lb box I just cleaned out to the compost bin. Was thinking about something else (how myspace can be a truly evil, gross site in the wrong hands) and not thinking the deck stairs get slippery after it rains then swoop! and slam! one of the steps "broke my fall" and Tommy was greeted by me covered in dirty water, random sludge and leaves, and strawberry tops (he tried to convince me I looked sexy what with the wet sweater and me on all fours). He put what he could in the compost while I tried to calm down and stand up. (As an aside, do you think the racoon came back for the strawberry tops he could have taken care of? No, the little bastard did not. Oh well, we'll eventually clean up the rest.)

I've read countless pg articles about how you shouldn't do anything where you may fall - a fact that has squelched my dirtbike career, at least for the time being (okay, so maybe I was looking for such an excuse but I do need to learn to ride one of those damn things especially since there's a really good chance "Jr.", whether a boy or girl, will be on one by age 4) - so needless to say, I was a nervous wreck. We went to the hospital, we listened to the fetal heartbeat to make sure all was well in there (it was - 150 beats a minute...though my pulse was almost as fast because I was so nervous) then we waited and waited til I could pee so they could make sure my kidney was okay (I have a huge long, thick bruise across my lower back on the right side). All was well, I just bruised the muscle really bad.

Last night was rough because I was in so much pain and could only take Tylenol (it's so hard for me to take anything during this pregnancy but since everyone assures me Tylenol is fine, I broke down and took some - but only when it was really bad, mind you!) but today is better so I'm sure I can go to work tomorrow.

I'd like to think I have a high tolerance for pain but I can't remember ever being in that much of it ever before so possibly I'm wrong. Needless to say, the whole incident, including my inability to get out of or into bed without biting a big hunk of comforter so as not to scream, has made me a firm believer of epidurals - I now plan to call ahead for one on The Big Day.

Thursday, April 06, 2006

Boredom is a state of mind

Yesterday I was soooooooo bored. I had plenty to do in a variety of areas but none of them seemed worthwhile. So during the day I just surfed on various sites and sank lower and lower into boredom. When I got home I intended to go to the gym then the commissary but the boredom that ravaged me wouldn't allow it. Tommy was close to as bored as I was since his new toy sprung a leak so he set up the hammock and we rocked for a bit but then it got too cold. V for Vendetta was showing at the neaby AMC theatre which is a pretty crappy theatre but it's "free popcorn Wednesdays" with my Movie Watcher card so I figured it was a decent trade-off. So we went to Azteca for Happy Hour nachos. While there, the waiter forgot my order of beans and rice then later gave us change for a $.64 tab when really it was $10.64 (yay Happy Hour prices!) but since I've waited tables before I had to make sure he got what he deserved.....okay, just WRITING this is boring me.

Needless to say, over dinner I was too bored to go to the movies so we decided to rent one which is usually a fate worse than death for me because it's hard to settle on a movie. FORTUNATELY (I think I'm almost through writing so stick with me or don't, it is getting pretty dull) we both wanted to see Capote which turned out to be amazing but I was so drained by the end that I had to sit just there and cry. I should have known my hormones probably couldn't handle the heaviness and yet......

American Baby says, "As your body adjusts to its new hormone levels and the extra work it's doing, first-trimester symptoms start to subside. This may happen gradually, or as quickly as a light switch flicking off--suddenly, the nausea, fatigue, and constant need to urinate are gone. Your emotions also start to stabilize at this time. Suddenly this pregnancy thing doesn't seem so difficult anymore!" I am definitely not operating on the light-switch theory.

But the point of this long ramble and the little ray of sunshine that shot through my boring day at least for a moment (aside from the hammock swinging) was when we were at the rental place and I was struck motionless by my boredom combined with not knowing what to rent, Tommy came up to me and out-of-the-blue said, "You need a line of blow and an off-duty stripper!"

Man, I'm so glad I married that man AND I get to have his kid? What a bonus!

(Oh and "Boredom is a state of mind" is what my dad used to tell my hyper youngest brother. NOTHING could be more frustrating than to hear that in the throes of boredom.)

Wednesday, April 05, 2006

Seeing Red

Just in case I hadn't mentioned it before, I pretty much live by What to Expect When You're Expecting and Your Pregnancy Week by Week (thanks Stacey for the latter recommendation). But in neither invaluable tome did I find anything on what apparently is a common occurrence: nosebleeds. Just out of the blue, my nose will start bleeding. Not gushing, mind you, but enough that I have to be careful.

According to BabyCenter: "Pregnancy can cause the blood vessels in your nose to expand, and your increased blood supply puts even more pressure on those delicate veins, causing them to rupture easily. You're especially likely to have a nosebleed when you have a cold or sinus infection or when the membranes inside your nose dry out, as they do in cold weather, air conditioned rooms, airline cabins, and other dry environments."

Last night, without even trying I dabbed my nose to reveal a perfect heart on my tissue. Tommy didn't think I could get anything on ebay for it though.

Tuesday, April 04, 2006

Gimme a beat!

Last November I went in at my 11th week to get an ultrasound. What started with, "I don't see a heartbeat" quickly snowballed to High Hell. I had to go to the hospital for a second opinion. I give God my utmost thanks for supplying me with Karry - my "temporary life partner" while Tommy was out to sea and a really nice ultrasound technician (or whatever they're called) who was kind and supportive and encouraging for the future (though she really didn't have to ask, "Do you still want a picture of it anyway?" even though I know there are those that do) . I got through that day and thanks to a really nice Naval captain and the Red Cross, Tommy was able to hop a boat and a plane and was back in my thankful and lovin' arms 4 days later. And this too has passed.

So I'm sensitive to heartbeats - each sonogram I have had with this current pregnancy starts off with me holding my breath and not blinking as I desperately scan the screen for that little pulsing movement and yesterday we were rewarded with audio.

My doctor came in with this cute little box that turned out to be the Doppler thing that can pick up heartbeats. She stated, "It may be too early to pick this up, but if the baby's cooperating, we may get to hear the heartbeat." So I held my breath and stared unblinking at the ceiling for what seemed like hours as she oh-so-painfully slowly dragged the microphone (or whatever it's called) across my belly. "A little to the left!" I screamed in my head because I just knew he or she was just out of reach. You could hear my stomach gurgle a little then a lot of white noise then when she finally (finally!!!) scanned to the left: boom-boom-boom-boom. I can't even begin to type how fast this little beat was - supposedly it's around 130 beats per minute. I turned my head to look at Tommy - my eyes probably looked like saucers then I quietly giggled.

We heard our baby's heartbeat today.