Wednesday, July 06, 2005

The Proverbial Handbasket

I hope you all had a lovely 4th. We discovered that $30 buys you a doozey of a "family pak" of fireworks. Thanks TNT! And though I should be feeling all proud to be an American and whatnot, there are two people that make me cringe a little that we share the same country: Britney and Tom. Well, now that I think about it, more than two people - pretty much any one that has a reality show that I watch like a crack addict (a.k.a. not enjoyable and yet I can't seem to pry myself away) or is just so bad my IQ can't take the abuse so I change the channel to the former or actually read* or something.

But the MAIN two people are Britney Spears-Federline with that God-awful 3-piece-sized wad of gum she smacks on and Tom Cruise.

First, Britney. Granted, she didn't sign up to be a role model but platinum records kind of force you there. I was influenced by music and movies when I was 13 - but who would have thought that Madonna and Def Leppard were actually SAFE? Whitney said it best when she sang, "I believe the children are our future..." and look where she is now! I fear for our future if the (most-recent) mother of Kevin's kids has as much influence as it would appear. I tried watching Chaotic and it hurt my brain. Then just seeing this picture Did Me In (I initially saw a worse/better version of the pic on but it's not there anymore). And you KNOW she had a turbo chunk of gum in her mouth, too! I don't care that chewing gum MAY improve your memory and thus make you smarter. You know what else improves your memory and thus makes you smarter? Books*.

And now for Tom. I sing the gospel of SF's Mark Morford. If you don't subscribe to his column, do so. If you've never read his work and have a lot of time on your hands - scroll through his archive. It's like reading the equivalent of really good chocolate pudding. Okay, I'm not quite sure what that means exactly aside from: it's just really good. Today's column is all about the perplexing state of Tom Cruise. Morford reads my mind but types it out far better so I bow to his rant on the subject. Thank you, Mark Morford!

I'm through being bitter and jaded..........for now.

*I was supposed to be reading Lamb: The Gospel According to Biff (which is hilarious, by the way) for Satan's Bookclub but on the drive to Tommy's rockin' grandparents', his really rockin' mom gave me a copy of Secret Life of Bees. If you haven't read it, read the excerpt. It's cripplingly beautiful. I haven't rushed home to be with a book since Bel Canto.

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